Dwa Tao Life

I had finally finished my last paper (I hope it is really the last) sometime last week. After about five years of working and studying, not working and studying, working but not studying phases, I am finally approaching the last phase.

Today, I feel exceptionally hopeful and optimistic while I was flipping the papers for recruitment postings. It seemed like, I can do anything and everything! And there are so many postings that I would SIMPLY LOVE TO TRY, and no longer am I restricted by the academic qualifications or no. of working experiences. Although times are bad, and will get worse to the worst, I am eccentrically excited about my future now.

So many people wiser than I am had told me not to reject the most recent job offer. So many of them had told me I should not have taken up the degree studies with such a tight financial status. So many of them had told me I should have taken the JC-Uni direct path. What they have predicted came true. The path was tough, long, and almost unbearable. But if you ask me now, I have no regrets. I’d learned alot by walking this deviating path. I’d found help, love and support along the way, so yeah, the Chinese saying is correct. Loosely translated: The heavens will not ignore those who fought hard. English: If there’s a will, there’s a way. I’ve survived.

And on top of that, I feel good. I feel good that I finally have time to accompany my beloved friend to travel for dinner and to just drive around to test which is the shortest route to her brother’s place, without worrying about my assignments. I feel good that I can now spend 3 hours giving my dog a quality grooming session and making him oh-so-comfy. I feel good I can just sit in the living hall and accompany my dad to watch TV shows. I feel good that I can have time to chat a little more with my mum on unimportant issues instead of just the “necessary statements”. And I feel good that I can read almost every pages of the newspapers I bought everyday. So these are the little things that I had compromised all these years. I really appreciate them now, so very much. Hence I have no regrets. If I had never lost these perks, I will never appreciate these little things in my life as much as now.

Conveniently, I think I had skipped the bulk of quarter-life crisis with my preoccupied mind. I had no time to feel demoralised about Life, no time to think if I should reconsider my career path, and no time to worry about when should I get hitched. When time is tight, you only worried about the immediate essential and critical things. And actually, I found out, that’s already alot to be placed on someone’s plate. Hence, seriously, those other worries become so irrelevant and unimportant. I’d learned how to focus. Valuable and priceless lesson ^^.

However, I still can’t help but wonder where my optimism and hopefulness emerge from? My exams results are not out yet, and so far, the chances of passing are shaky for a couple of subjects. I had yet to find a job or even attend a job interview. But still, I feel hopeful. This is so rare =). Maybe because I am happy that I’ve finally learned how to communicate with my mum better (and she don’t seem to dislike me that much now). And maybe because I am so happy that my brother has found someone who can share the same..er…somewhat erratic lifestyle as he has. Maybe because I had found someone who can understand and support my weird character, selfish lifestyle and eccentric thinking (and my flabby tummy -.-). Or maybe, I am just experiencing the after-five-years-of-exams-euphoria. Anyhow, I love the feeling I am enjoying now =).

Well, if things don’t work well for me, I guess I will still be grateful. At least, there’s this ONE POINT of time in my life, that I really feel hopeful. And I really feel that..everything seems possible…The five-years-struggle is worth it.